I cannot go there--
I cannot eddy in that whirling, conflicted pool
I feel the undertow
Trying to suck me under--
The madness, the negativity makes me ill.

I feel it in my limbs.
My sunshine seems to disappear--
I am lost in shadow
My lower arms tingle with numbness,
Sometimes I can't feel my feet.

My head aches,
It seems a spear is being driven,
Driven into the side of my head
But I will not submit,
I will not surrender in the face of the blinding pain.

I refuse to let this destroy me.
I refuse to become something ugly and hateful
I refuse to succumb to disease
I refuse to be inconsequential
I refuse to be ignored.

In the face of adversity
I grow greater,
Stronger
For whatever fight
Should lie ahead.