Sonnet 4

I long for the brush of your soft lips
Crave your sweet caresses on my body
Love the feel of your hips
In the darkness pressed to mine, naughty.
In your embrace I am mindless
I can scarcely breath
The extent of my passion boundless
In your eyes I perceive
A mirror of my own recklessness.
The recklessness of love unrestrained
Caution thrown to the wind
There is nothing I would change
There is nothing to rescind
I count the minutes ‘til we meet again
Sweetest of lovers, dearest friend.

Sonnet 3

You are a cool drink in the hot desert of my existence
An oasis on this barren plane
Pray you are not a mirage to this insistence
You are an anchor that keeps me sane.
I am a poor listener but I hear you when I hear nothing outside
Something in your voice assures me that you speak a truth I need to recognize
Your gentle advice assures me and warms me inside
Somehow what you tell me daily helps me realize--
I am ready to change, I just needed reminding
Now I step back and see me for the first time
I need to recall that they'll be no rewinding
This personal metamorphosis is sublime.
You are a cool drink in the desert of my existence
Now I surrender to your kisses insistence.

Sweetness Sonnet

You fill me with warmth and sweetness
The soft caress of your words a palpable stimuli
I am soothed by your openness
My heart soars, I will not lie.
Your kiss a gentle, insistent need
My heart races and my body responds
To ask too much would be unreasonable greed
I let my mind go, dreaming on
You are my light in the darkness
My summer afternoon on a cold windy day
I surrender at the insistence
Of your aching touch, words cannot say
This emotion too strong
Consumes my soul with gentle song.

Sonnet in the Dark

Your breath, a ragged contrast to the darkness
Aching limbs, longing cries escape my lips
Our bodies locked in acts of tenderness
Your movements careful against my eager hips
An understanding beyond body and mind
I allow you to possess
Wrapped in your arms I find--
Almost mindless in sweet caress
I want this second to extend
Long for timelessness
Before your naked eyes, I can't pretend
These feelings boundless
I nearly drown in the pool of your love
Were you the one I was dreaming of?

Not a Martyr

I never wanted Martyrdom—
Yet in my mind's eye I catch flashes of myself
Stretched out taut,
Spread-Eagle,
Broken and Bloody
My palms lacerated.

My spine is arched at an odd angle
As crooked as I feel—
Nothing seems quite right
I long to heal this
This thing that makes me ugly and hateful
This raging demon that seems beyond my control

I realize that control is the illusion
But I still grasp at threads.
Seared with a piercing longing
A longing that somehow this will pass
That if I can just endure some more
I will be whole and peaceful at last.

Words are not sufficient
To describe this thing
This complete suffocation
Of my every attempt to breathe a clear breath
The agony is like the contractions of Blake’s “Job”
Or Graham’s helpless contortions

The expansion is the tension
Joy bubbling below the surface
But stifled by adversity
The contractions are reactions to external blows
How much can one human being endure?
I am at the end of my tether.

Must I always be strong?
Must I always fight not just the battles--
But the very war alone?
I pray on shaking knees
But there is nothing
No one to listen

I howl in the darkness
But there is none to answer my piercing cry
I am akin
To the cat who walks alone
My hunting ground silent
Except for the pad of my stealthy paws

My claws react
My ears perk to every sound
In the silence and darkness
Where I dwell
I hunt alone
But the prey is ever-elusive.